Why are we women so cruel and hostile to each other?


I was 19, in my first semester at university when I was thrown in jail. It was only for 15 minutes, but it was still jail.

That day, my roommate and I were leisurely strolling on our way to have super, oblivious of anything else but our enthralling accounts of the boys we had a crush on, and the lame pick-up lines thrown our way.

Our merry giggles were cut short when a police woman, shouting and wildly gesticulating at us, briskly crossed the road and accosted us.

“Piga magoti!” On your knees, she ordered, and then uttered a profanity that one woman should never call another. My roommate, the kindest soul I have ever met, quickly knelt down. I was scared and confused, which made me blurt out;

“What have we done?” That was a cue for the police woman to roughly shove me, and before I knew it, I was sprawled on the ground.

“Stand up and walk to the police station!” You university kids are spoilt, especially you girls! Do you think you are too pretty to stop and stand at attention when the flag is being lowered?” she howled.

By: now she was holding me by the back of my jersey. She matched us into the police station across the road, straight into a tiny dark room.

I knew we were in deep trouble when my roommate, the smarter one, quickly went on her knees and starting praying. I could tell she was hysterical because she started to pray at the top of her voice, attracting the attention of one of the policemen, who

opened the door of our cell and asked what was going on.


He looked stunned at the sight of my friend, lost in her urgent prayers. He then noticed me, and asked, “Girls, what did you do?” We had no answer, because we were as clueless as he was.

He eventually got to know who it was that had arrested us. That is when we got to know what the charge against us was: disrespect of the national flag.

Apparently, we had openly shown conceit by not standing at attention as the flag at the police station was being lowered.

I had not heard any whistle blown, leave alone seen anyone standing at attention. The policeman asked me to rouse my friend from her prayers and go back to school. Just like that, we were free.

To date, my heart skips a beat when a police woman waves me down. I imagine that she will call me that demeaning word and then shove me to the ground.

This incident came to mind the other day when a reader requested me to hear her out. She had asked me why it was that women are each other’s worst enemy, but I assured her that this was just a mere misconception.

“Then explain to me why a woman I considered a friend would sleep with my husband and even have his child. To make matters worse, she is not remorseful, and even told me to keep the wedding ring because she had my man.”

This is what I told her;

“I believe your friend is envious of your life. She wants what you have I would not consider her a friend. As for your husband, he is a loser, and they deserve each other.”

Obviously, counselling is not my forte.

That said, is a woman more likely to envy another woman than a man is more likely to envy another? What I know is that I have not heard of a case where a man calls his friend and tells him;

“Keep the ring while I keep your woman,” or another dumb statement like this one.