SOCIAL IQ: How to make yourself more likeable

By: IRENE NJOROGE-KRISTIAN

It pays to be likeable. Wherever you go, things are much easier when others feel positive about you. When you instinctively like your boss, your doctor, greengrocer or even mother-in-law, it is only natural for you to co-operate with them.

Your defenses are down and you feel unthreatened by people you like. In the same vein, it helps your cause to have as many people as possible on your side. It is not about winning a popularity contest; rather it is more about creating a comforting aura about you.

When you emit these good vibes, success and good tidings come your way. For example, if your boss happens to like you, he or she will stand up for you.

This kind of liking is not to be confused with sexual attraction or feelings of romantic love. Start getting into people’s good books by developing your likeability factor. Here are some practical guidelines you can implement right away.

BE REAL:

To be well liked, you have to make others feel that you are one of them. Do not deliberately go out of your way to make others envious of your successes, even if you are greatly blessed.

Some people do this by portraying their lives as perfect: Perfectly rich, perfectly married, perfect family and perfect looks. When you appear to have no problems whatsoever and you flaunt this fact, you could make yourself unlikeable.

People may not be able to relate with you because you have placed yourself on a pedestal. It is human nature for the people seeing this image you put forth to feel unsympathetic towards you; after all, you have it all. To avoid all this, make your life seem as normal as everyone else’s does.

MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS:

It is sheer malice to speak ill of people who have not wronged you directly. There is no need to castigate people simply because others are doing it.

For example, if a colleague at your work place has problems with people other than with you, simply do not get involved in negative conversations concerning him/her. It really is none of your business.

When others realise that you do not join them in the castigations, they will actually come to regard you as loyal and likeable.

TRY NOT TO APPEAR JUDGMENTAL:

An old American- Indian saying goes like this: “Do not judge a man until you have walked a mile in his moccasins.” The most liked people in the world are those that are non-judgmental.

Think about all the people you really like and trust. It is most likely to be those who do not judge you. Those you are able to talk to and all they do is listen and do not show any reaction or attitude.

A doctor who raises his or her eyebrows when you mention some of your vices may not warrant another visit or referral from you

SOURCE: DAILY NATION