How to stop complaining and start living

By: FLORENCE KITHINJI

Let me begin this week’s article by thanking most sincerely all my readers who sent me emails and tweets thanking me for last week’s article. Your encouraging words meant a lot to me. This week, I would like to ask you to consider your perspective of the things that happen to you. Here are a few tips on how to move to the next level in your life.

Stop complaining whenever things don’t go your way. Quite a number of people are fond of complaining about their jobs, relatives, homes, or circumstances in their lives. Have you considered what it would be like if the very thing you are complaining about was taken away from you?

Anything that is in your life is a gift. It is there for a reason and for a season. Most people get so busy complaining that they miss out on the opportunity to be great.

Whenever you complain, you lose the opportunity to learn something. Did you know that the very things that you are complaining about in others are also in you?

There is a story about a woman who had moved into an apartment. From her window, she could see her neighbour’s clothes hanging out to dry. Whenever the neighbour hanged out her clothes to dry, the woman would retort to her husband, “This woman doesn’t know how to wash clothes. See how her clothes are always full of marks. This went on for a number of days.

BACK STABBING

Then one morning, she woke up to a line of very clean clothes. She was pleasantly surprised, and said to her husband, “I wonder who taught her how to wash her clothes because finally they are clean”. Her long-suffering husband looked at her and replied, “Actually, I woke up earlier this morning and washed our windows clean”.

How many of us are like that woman? We are busy looking for fault in others instead of focusing on our areas for improvement. Unfortunately, most of us think of life as a window through which we see the actions of others.

Learn to look within, not outside, for solutions. Think of your life as a mirror, instead of looking outside for faults and complaining about others, ask yourself if you have these faults as well. Clean your window before commenting on your neighbour’s dirty linen!

Stop belittling others by saying negative things about them. Have you ever encountered someone who finds joy in telling you about the weaknesses of another person? They find joy in speaking ill of others, sometimes without enough evidence that what they are saying is true. The same people will talk the same behind your back, so watch out! The word back-stabbing is appropriately used to refer to people who talk ill of others.

Don’t back-stab others-only a coward talks behind other people’s backs. If you have something to say about someone, call the person, and tell them in the most tactful manner what you think the problem is. Before you unleash your missive of words, ask yourself three questions-is it necessary, is it helpful to the person and finally-is it true?

There would be fewer problems in this world if everyone asked themselves these three questions before talking about others.

Learn to close the door on past hurts and disappointments. As long as you are holding the door open, you cannot move to the next one. You need to open new chapters in your life-but if you continue reading the current one, it is unlikely that you will open a new one.

Learn the lessons and move on- there is always a lesson that you are yet to learn. Instead of complaining about your current situation, ask yourself, “What issues do I need to deal with?”

Are you a complainer or backstabber? Please change your ways, it is never too late!

SOURCE: DAILY NATION