DALLIANCE DIARY: The dancing queen and her lonely husband

By: CIKU KIMANI-MWANIKI

You must have seen one. They are all over. She has a table she hardly sits at while her husband watches over her handbag. If he is lucky, he has a couple of friends with him, otherwise he would spend his entire evening and night watching his wife do things with other men that he is supposed to be doing with her.

This couple arrives early — the woman’s idea, no doubt — so that they can get a table near the dance floor and far from the speakers, which does not make sense because they will hardly say a word to each other. Before the action starts, they order drinks. He will have three brown bottles since he knows the waiters will be too busy to serve him as often as he might require.

She will have a glass of wine she will sip only occasionally.

NO MAN CAN RESIST A GOOD DANCER

Then her favourite tune — one of 200 such — starts playing, and she says, “Oooh.I love this one.” And off she will go to dance floor. At that point, it does not matter whether there are other dancers on the floor. She will attract them soon enough because not many men can resist a good dancer, and she is one.

Soon, the floor will be packed, mostly with men, but there might be another dancing queen or two who will be putting up a challenge.

She will be surrounded by several men, and she will be revelling in it. And she will ignore her husband completely. Meanwhile, if he is not too drunk, he will go to the floor to dance with his queen.

He will hardly have space because she is surrounded like royalty by drooling Adams.

At some point, between smiling coyly at her drooling Adams, she will see her husband trying to get closer. Her coy smile will become a sneer, she will push her way out of the circle and declare she needs a break. Her husband will be left there, embarrassed, absentmindedly looking at the other dancing queens. You see, the woman hates dancing with her husband.

This scenario will be repeated several times, until her husband gets too drunk to stagger to the floor.

Why does she behave like that? I ask. What would make a woman want to embarrass her husband in such a way? Does she hate him so much that she forces herself to go out with him just so she can embarrass him in front of his friends and strangers?

Why bother going out together if things are that bad between you? Don’t these two have independent friends they can go out with to different places?

Sometimes, these dancing queens have the guts to dance with one of their husbands’ friends and no, it is not the husband’s friend who asks for the dance, she will wait for him to go to the floor and then sashay her way to him.

If he is a true friend, he will find an excuse, like old age, to go back to his seat. If he is not — and there are no two ways about this — he will dance with her, perhaps even hold her waist in the process.

When this happens, I ask myself a few questions: Is the man whipped to silence? Does he, perhaps, feel the same way towards his wife and is happy to be left alone?

Is he really, whooped or not, okay watching his wife dirty dance with strangers? Is the queen okay with this? Does she feel triumphant that “she showed him”? If they behave like this in public, where they do not even have to remove their clothes, how in the world is it at home?

Finally, why in the world do they go out together when they know they will not have a good time?

Just a plain, cruel dancing queen.

SOURCE: DAILY NATION