DALLIANCE DIARY: Listen up, Casanovas are human too


Some time back, I wrote about platonic relationships. That did not go down well with a section of the human race that is not female.

The star of that article, a platonic friend of mine, is obviously a casanova. Somebody picked that up, and they sent an email asking me to write something positive on casanovas – he acknowledged to be one, and used a phrase I almost use too much when I am being an activist, “they are also human”. Who am I to think otherwise. casanovas, as I am about to prove, are human too.

After a couple of weeks of scratching my head trying to come up with something positive about casanovas (except that they tend to be extremely good looking, charming and confidence to walk on water – or is that faith?), this is what I came up with.

Things are not always what they seem to be on the surface – with all their charm and good looks and confidence to walk on water, with the facade that everything is hunky dory with the world, they really are delicate animals inside who wish, a tad, that they were, perhaps, less attractive, less mean to the female folk.

At this point, you are probably wondering what is positive about that, but hang on a little longer as I struggle with this.

They hurt, they bleed inside. It may not be an obvious positive, but it is certainly a positive because from now henceforth, you can stop calling casanovas inhuman and beasts. They hurt.

When God created Eve from that one single rib, His idea was to make Adam’s life more tolerable (please let’s not get into the ‘look where it got him’). Humans are meant to make each others lives tolerable.


With that in mind, it is safe to assume that casanovas cannot be a happy lot when they are the cause of a million and one heartbreaks. They cannot be sleeping well at night knowing that somewhere in Nyeri County, and Busia County, and Mombasa County,

and in every county of the country and beyond, there are women crying themselves to sleep at night because of them.

It cannot be an easy job being a heartbreaker. It cannot be an easy job being weak – you know, being unable to say no to temptations and then being unable to sustain the ‘bravado’ because there is another temptation at the other side of the vision.

It cannot be an easy life being the object of desire for bored housewives. It cannot feel very safe wondering which man would punch you when you are only trying to have a drink with friends, just because he thinks you are eyeing his wife (while in actual fact it is his wife eyeing you).

If you are a man and you know a Casanova, empathise with him instead of envying him. It is a dog’s life to be created to break hearts, really. Imagine the number of women who kneel down to pray for him and all you can hear in the prayers is shetani ashindwe.

No, you do not want to admire someone like that. In most cases, Casanovas are the male versions of “dumb blonde” and I am certainly not talking about the colour of the hair in this case.

Deep inside, they want to be happy in relationships like everyone else. They want to settle and have kids and not cheat on their wives with best friends and sisters. They want to be stronger, but strength is not for the weak – Casanovas tend to be weak. They admire the men who stay focused on relationships, because even they know that it is easier to cheat than be faithful. Anyone can cheat.

Casanovas have many uses, like to teach women and the rest of the world that all that glitters is not gold. To teach us all that, if the deal is too good to be true, it most probably is.

Casanovas have one main advantage, they teach women how to appreciate the “less attractive” men.

You see, there is something positive about Casanovas. You may have struggled to understand it, but that is because you are not “reading” outside the box.

Their use is to make you feel like a better human. Well, the Casanova who emailed me never said I should write something to praise them, just positive. That was as positive as I could get.

To give the devil his dues, they tend to be very funny.