By: AUNT TRUPHENA
Q: I have been with my husband for the last six years. We have a daughter. At the end of last year he left me for another woman, claiming that our marriage had issues.
Now the other relationship has failed. He says he isn’t happy and he wants to come back. I love him very much even after all this. I never thought that he could leave me. What should I do? I’m confused.
A: It is clear that you are still in love with your husband even after leaving you for another woman. You sound devastated and I empathise with you.
It is sad that that your husband says that he left because the marriage had issues; this is because every marriage has issues, which means your husband was supposed to air his feelings, discuss and solve them instead of moving on with another woman.
Therefore, think about what he really means when he says he wants to come back because he is not happy; does that mean he wasn’t happy with her or he wasn’t happy because he never stopped loving you and probably realised he had made a mistake in leaving you?
You should expect him to put things on the table and start being absolutely honest with you before thinking about taking him back – and even then, it is wise for you take things very slow.
You also have a daughter to think about – you don’t want to have him come back without working on things that went wrong before and then have him walk out again later on. I think that the two of you would benefit from counselling sessions before making the decision to get back together.
You believed that you were in a happy marriage but apparently, he didn’t, or he would have never left, which means that you and he had a hard time communicating your feelings or you chose to be in denial about what was really going on in your relationship.
You therefore need to work on making your communication better if your marriage is to survive. Wishing you success.