AUNT TRUPHENA: Should I go back to my husband?


Q: I am 24. I got married in 2009 and separated from my husband in 2012 while I was pregnant. I moved back to my parents’ house and gave birth to my beautiful baby.

My parents told me never to go back to my husband, but he keeps begging me to go back. I want to make my marriage work, but I am afraid of my family’s reaction. How can I make them understand that I want to make my marriage work?

I also wonder if they were right when they warned me to keep off him. I’m confused. Help!

A: You have not mentioned why you left your husband and went back to your parents. Whatever the reason, it seems that it was not resolved afterwards. Marriage is a solemn union and all unresolved issues should be treated with a lot of seriousness.

While it is worth applauding that you want to fight for your marriage, it is also key to get clear about what you are fighting for, and if it is worth it.

Does your husband just want you go back, or does he want you both to resolve what separated you? Could he be feeling pressured to reunite with you because you now have a baby?

It is important to note that the only thing that can bind two people in a marriage is love – not convenience.

Your parents seem to dislike your husband because they know why your marriage fell apart. That said, you need to evaluate yourself and decide if you will be able to face it head on.

You have shifted the blame from you and your husband to your parents. They were not the cause of your breakup – your issues were. Deal with the issues with your husband before making any decisions.

Afterwards you may have a talk with your parents and let them know that you are ready for reconciliation, and they should set you free. Listen to your parents so that they can disclose why they don’t want you to be with your husband. Remember that all this can be sorted if you apply sobriety and patience. Wishing you all the best.