ASK CINDY: My wife is addicted to Facebook

By: ASK CINDY

Dear Cindy,

My wife is addicted to Facebook. She is always on it. She burns food while she is checking out status and chatting. I don’t know who her friends are on social media, I check her out sometimes although she has made me hate social media, and I think she gets too friendly with some of the men.

I think she has changed since she got addicted, what do I do to break this habit? Johnie

Of all the addictions in the world, I think social media addiction is the most ignored. It is breaking homes, people are losing jobs and families. I understand where you are coming from.

You have not indicated whether you have told your wife how you feel about her addiction. If you have not, you need to start with that.

Perhaps it will jolt her to reality and she may start thinking about how it is affecting her life. You need to tell her how it is affecting your life negatively.

Tell her you are uncomfortable with her getting too flirty with those men on Facebook. They may be faceless, but it is certainly not harmless. There is something called emotional cheating, which is worse in some cases, than physical cheating.

If she does not listen, you need to involve a third part – perhaps a friend or a close relative. Social media should certainly not be the reason why food is burning.

In fact, I would say, if the worse comes to the worst, involve the parents because when you think about it, she is actually cheating on you, opening, with Facebook. All the best

Dear Cindy,

My parents broke up when my brother and I were little. We were left with dad because he is the one with the money. I went through hell. I was raped, repeatedly, by the houseboy and driver.

I never told anyone. Now I am 20 years old still living with my father, the house boy and the driver still work for dad, I hate them so much that I want to kill them.

The other day I drove into the houseboy and broke his leg, I felt so happy and it scared me. He now has a caste. I want to do the same to the driver.

What annoys me most is they both pretend that nothing happened and are always friendly to me. I do not talk to them, I think dad thinks I am rude. What do I do because I think this hatred, this rage, is killing me and I may end up killing them?

I am so sorry, that is horrible. The first thing you need to do is tell your dad, or tell somebody. There may not be proving that it happened because clearly there is no evidence, but somebody needs to know what happened to you.

Your father especially. He needs to know that he has beasts working for him.

Tell him, let it be his choice to believe you or not, but you cannot let these two men, who obviously colluded to hurt you, go unreported. By: coming out to somebody, and having somebody confront them, you may be saving other little girls from going through what you went through.

If you find it hard to do it, there is always the option of a psychiatrist or a counsellor. They will talk to you, help you cope and deal with what happened, help you get rid of the bitterness because if you do not sort it now, it may ruin any relationship you have with men in the future.

The same people will help you break the news to your father about what happened to you. Whatever you do, do not keep quiet.

Your silence is hurting you, and may potentially hurt other girls. And the two men may get off scot free. Do not let that happen.

What is also of great concern, the two may turn you into a psycho criminal. That you can think of running t hem down is very scary, even more scary is the thought that you actually enjoyed hurting the house boy, who obviously deserves to be hurt, but do not let that person be you.

You are only 20, supposed to be enjoying your youth, not plotting some murder that may land you in jail or in more depression. Let the right people punish these two horrible men. All the best

SOURCE: DAILY NATION